Interview for Motherhood

My brother is applying for internships right now, so we've talked resumes and interviews a couple of times. It's gotten me thinking about what an interview for my current occupation might be like:
interview questions in red, (suggested answers/tips in black)

So, tell me a little about yourself? What do you like to do?
(Pure warm up, throw away question, just don't say anything idiotic and you'll be fine)

Your resume says that you enjoy travel, ever been on a crowded metro?
(Careful here, not merely a warm up question. The interviewer will take away from this how you feel about personal space, which translates into how you'll do with children popping in and out of the bathroom while you are showering)

How would you describe your attention span?
(Here the interviewer wants to know if you'll be able to hang with the four year-old playing delivery person. Can you keep your head in the game while they make 37 imaginary deliveries, deliveries you must receive gracefully, even excitedly, every time)

Tell me about something risky you've done? How did it turn out? How did you react?
(Here the interviewer wants to assess how you'll do with a two year old that loves to disrobe with no warning, while simultaneously going through a phase where she decides she's ready to be potty trained: combining easy removal underwear with less than perfect toileting consistency)

What is the brake for? How do the wheels go? What does an axle look like? How does the fuel make the axle turn? What's a piston? Where is it? How fast does it go? Horsepower?
(Don't expect to have time between these questions to actually answer them, just stay relaxed)

What's the longest you've gone without eating? Without using the bathroom?
(These questions might break equal employment laws, but what? you going to sue?)

Moving on to the case portion of our interview, can you point out the potential risks and rewards of the following situation, I just want to hear you think through it:
Making a spaghetti squash main dish for dinner and trying to pass it off as real pasta to a 2 year old, 4 year old, and 8 year old.

And here's a little bonus question for you (you know you're doing well if they are offering you the bonus question), how often does an elementary school have to re-gravel their playground? Please ask me any questions you would like, if you need more information.
(some questions you might like to ask: How large is the playground? How many students at the school? How much sand is in the average childs shoe at the end of EVERY DAY?)

If you make it through this whole interview without any interruptions, it's not a good sign, they didn't think you were a contender, you're not going to get called back.

Cussing?

From the front page of the Sun Advocate, local newspaper, Jan. 24, highlighting mine:

Peanut shows off furry snow clots after running around in her owner's yard for awhile on Saturday. The Carbon County area was blanketed with snow on Saturday, the first real snowstorm of the year for the entire county. In the central valley and up to the east county area the snow came down piling up four to six inches. For some the slick roads made them cuss, but most people were thankful that at long last some moisture was coming out of the sky. The weather is expected to be mostly sunny and warmer through Thursday, with highs in the low- to mid-40s and overnight lows near 20 degrees.

When was the last time you heard the word cuss? last time you saw it in print?

So. Food.

As any of you who I've spoken to in the last two years know, the food situation in Price is dismal. I talk about it incessantly ("There's Greek Streak, run by a Mexican family, where everything is served with a side of spaghetti or Farleno's where salt is the only spice used, and used heavily, or ..." you know, you've heard me). Every few months P, in his eternal optimist way and I, in my easily swayed by him way, will try again. Like it might have changed...? It hasn't.

At some point I realized I would be cooking every night of the week, week in and week out. Cooking hasn't come easily to me (in a pre-marriage conversation I described it as "drudgery"). I have to meal plan, which means at the end of the week I have the plan, jotted on a piece of paper. That piece of paper symbolizes quite a bit of effort and I struggle to throw it away. And so I have stuck in the back of my recipe binder weeks and weeks worth of meal notes.

Here's the week before last:

1/13, Fri - Crepes, savory: spinach, grilled chicken in roux or omelet like scrambled eggs (for the kids) dessert: fresh blackberries and strawberries in cream with homemade caramel sauce

Sat - In Provo (hallelujah, yes, Provo has become a food destination for me

Sun - chicken tikka over rice with naan cooked on the grill

Mon - Black bean soup with cornbread

Tues - Chicken enchiladas with leftover black bean soup

Wed - Tomato soup (made from garden tomatoes that my sister in law helped me bottle) and homemade whole wheat bread

Thurs - Leftover enchiladas

And this past week's:

1/20, Fri - Boxed Mac 'n' cheese (I made the mistake of asking N what he wanted) and grilled chicken green salad. Chicken not used in enchiladas.

Sat - Grilled black pepper tuna steaks, cous cous, butternut squash (the last one from the garden)

Sun - at family gathering

Mon - Lentil loaf (new recipe), with baked potato and carrots

Tues - Sweet potato, carrot, & apple soup with homemade artisan bread

Wed - pasta with chicken, vegetables and alfredo sauce

Thurs - leftovers

So you might be seeing more menu list, as I strive to immortalize the effects of the small town life we've chosen to live and maybe I'll be able to throw away those slips of paper.